We’ve all heard the phrase, “it’s all about who you know,” right? Or, “luck is about the intersection of preparation and opportunity,” and “location! location! location –” OH wait, that last one is more about finding apartments…but I digress. In trying to walk the walk of growing “who you know,” how does that actually lead to success?
Earlier this year we discussed the subject of “Netting In Networking” and making interactions with industry professionals more personal. That is still very important!
But networking isn’t just about meeting people. It’s about building genuine professional relationships. The challenge is that authenticity has its own etiquette. Industry professionals can usually tell the difference between curiosity and strategy, and the strongest networking happens when the two naturally overlap.
Here are three principles I’ve found make all the difference: Staying Curious, Morale, and Timing.
Staying Curious
I watch a lot of roundtable discussions and actor panels, and one thing stands out every time: the best actors never stop learning. Their energy is electric. Some people call it star power, or a really good skincare regimen, but I think it’s something much simpler: a genuine growth mindset.
Acting asks us to understand people, and people are always changing. The strongest professionals I’ve met stay curious, approach their craft with humility, and never assume they’ve learned it all. That curiosity naturally deepens both their work and their compassion for others.
The good news? You don’t need a huge budget to cultivate that mindset. There are countless free or donation-based panels and roundtables online (many on our YouTube channel 🙂), and conventions like GameSoundCon offer incredible opportunities to learn in person. Attend sessions that genuinely interest you, ask thoughtful questions, and don’t be afraid to explore parts of the industry adjacent to your own.
More often than not, people are happy to share what they know. Practice being someone eager to learn. Within a deep study of craft lies an openness to humility that deepens motivation and compassion for others. Stay curious about the people in your orbit. Research and mentorship are food for the brain—and, quite frankly, actor cardio.
Morale
Morale isn’t about confidence or bravado. It’s about showing up in a way that lets you enjoy meeting people. Your morale is a magnet, and finding ways or rituals to keep your energy open are crucial. At a party and don’t partake in alcohol? Order a mocktail! Learn what age groups you feel more comfortable around or whether you connect more with introverts and extraverts!
We’re all different, and not every connection is a lifetime bond and friendship. Look around and get comfortable with eye contact. Be intentional about it from your end and try to read others in their glances. Often this is a great signal on who’s open or not. When looking at groups, their formation & body language can give good clues on openness + how well they know one another.
Everyone else is there to meet people too. If a conversation is going only okay, don’t be afraid to cut it with a friendly “it was nice to meet you” or similar. Being a positive point for others is still great even if you don’t make a strong connection. The goal is to foster an environment of mutual respect. You don’t have to leave events feeling like an empty Capri Sun pouch. If you find good friends or mentors in that pursuit? That’s the cherry on top, not a pass/fail quiz grade!
Timing
Last but not least, my dear reader… wait for it… TIMING.
Let’s use emails as an example. How do you follow up with casting? Here’s my favorite piece of advice: end your email with “No need to respond.”
Casting receives hundreds of emails every day. The longer, more anxious, or more validation-seeking an email feels, the easier it is to set aside. We don’t need to audition for someone’s attention. You guys, we are not male birds attracting a mate with a lil dance! We’re professionals, and professionals value collaboration over permission.
If you’re congratulating someone on a recent project, actually congratulate them. Treat them like a person, not a stepping stone. That’s how community is built. A genuine “thinking of you” or “hope you’re doing well” can go much further than trying to engineer the perfect networking email.
I’ve also noticed I send my best emails when I’m excited about my own life. Maybe I just wrapped a class I loved, learned a new skill, or I’m about to head out on vacation. When casting is already underwater, I never want my email to feel like a pair of cement shoes.
The most compelling actors I know don’t stake their entire self-worth on booking. They have hobbies, passions, and lives outside the booth. I think of how Jenna Fischer writes about building a full life while pursuing acting, or how Nick Offerman turns to woodworking. Those pursuits don’t distract from the work. They strengthen it.
So time your reachouts when you’re genuinely feeling fulfilled. That energy comes through. As our industry evolves, I’d love to see us embrace community and fulfillment over grind.
And if you’re struggling to find fulfillment outside of this very fickle career? We highly recommend prioritizing that search. You deserve to feel good about yourself, and approach life loving your humanity, as well as your passion.
Yes, a big part of succeeding in this industry is about who you know, but in that pursuit, please don’t forget to build upon what you know, and most of all, knowing yourself.
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